Maybe I'm getting there with my Bob in England, e-mailing each other over a year quite alot is good and it's nice how he talks to me sometimes over the phone and makes the effort. But a fat lot of use that is, he's so far away. How much more I'd prefer a REAL LIFE BOY FRIEND.

And you need them sometimes, you do. Maybe Maciek wasn't an ideal boy friend, or even very close but there were some things you could tell him that you could never tell a girl. And even with fatmike for the four 15 minute conversations we've had - there's just a connection between boys and girls which isn't better, or worse than what you get with girls. Just different. And I think I'm starting to need that difference.

You can see it girls' eyes when they talk to them. They shine in a different way. Anna with Bri (since when did he srat hanging around with us every break and lunch, and giving Anna guitar lessons?), Hil with pracically every guy, Eleanor too she's had lotsa boy friends, Bhav with Ashwan (fine, so his needy friendship is a bit freeaky deeky) but at least they have one.

Hmm and even moreso with guys, they tend to have lots of girl friends normally of the same ilk as themselves, whereas girls have more variety in the type of boy friends they attract. It's strange that, isn't it. Maybe it's a rep I have, or being with Will or something that say "URGH THIS GIRL IS DISGUSTING" but I don't reckon I have even one.

Of course, alot of the time, the friendship is really a poor attempt to get into your pants (again, can think of too many examples). So I don't want that kind of friendship, I want a Will without the sex and kisses and romance. A platonic Will.

So there's my birthday wish. One boy friend. Is that so much to ask?