1. When she's not that wasted: Can you kiss me on the cheek so I can say a cute guy kissed me tonight?

2. For when she's mildly wasted or for anyone who is willing to sound like a fool. Can I bum a cig? (cigarette hangingly sexily from lips) why, thank you. I don't smoke, but I wanted something of yours in my mouth. Also get free cigarette (?)

3. When she's getting to saturation point. Hi, my name is (Eleanor). I don't have a gag reflex.

4. Only for the advanced chat up linest/madly pissed. Awww, how can I love you if you won't lay down?

5. Eleanors special chat up line, very dangerous. Were you born in the year of the horse? Well, can I ride you anyway?

6. XXX rated, trashed on the street style chat up line. Hi. I just need you to know that you can't get pregnant from anal sex. But most likely said Arroo, ah gont yew eh nooo (trips and dies) caarn't geddit from (snorting and giggling) argoor! Sex! Argoor nal!

Eleanor, it is our mission - nay, our Duty - to get Joanna to get to at least numero 3 on the list of death on her birthday Friday. And on yours, you're going straight up to number 6 baby!