Uni�s cool.

I�m eternally hungry (it�s a combination of cold weather, only being served 2 meals a day and sheer laziness meaning I won�t cook myself lunch). That said, I�ve gained weight thanks to the huge amount of Bacardi & coke I�ve been imbibing in the evenings. On the accommodation side, I am in a room that I can walk across in 2 strides and really isn�t big enough to swing a cat, let alone provide the support necessary for a drunk and stumbling me coming home at 3 in the morning. If anything can fall off the 3 tacked on pieces of cardboard on my wall that are meant to be shelves, it will and frequently does.

Unfortunately, having chosen the clubbing mecca of the north of the UK and not dancing is proving to be a slight problem. Problem in that it isolates me from about 99% of the population, small because I end up drinking myself into a stupor and not noticing anyway. I�d just like to say I�m very nice and friendly when I�m drunk and this has saved me from one a many awkward moment.

And I have to admit, I�m not dealing with the man side of things very well either. Having met men who have blown my socks off with their kindness, gentleness and general good behaviour I can safely say I harbour huge crushes on all of them. Differing so much from the HK guys (arrogant, mean, unfriendly, rude) I can�t help but love them for their manners and general loveliness. I am especially fond of my new best friend Jamie � the most gorgeous combination of Bristol public school, West Country farmer accent and a bit of a Scottish twang � who is particularly friendsome and easy to talk to. I like men, I really do. But I will always be a man-lover, not a man-respecter (in that I cannot be friends with them).

A mini-story:

If you�re introduced to someone who�s Welsh and may be called Gwillym (pronounced Gwill-um) as in the Welsh version of William � although I�m still not sure if that�s his name and you accidentally call him Guinevere and all manner of other names before settling on Bob just because it�s easy - then you know you have a odd sort of friendship on your hands.

Bob�s a funny guy. He�s the complete nutter that every person should have as a friend at least once in their lives. Being Welsh but living in Bristol for the past few years means he sounds like a country bumpkin (I did try and call him Wurzel Gummage but he beat me up) with a Welsh lilt to his voice. Plus he�s really weird. Like, really weird. A typical conversation:

Me: (slurred and drunk) Whatareyouthinkingrightnow?

Bob: I don�t want to say, you�ll think I�m weird

Me: Nonono my friend, I�ve already judged you I know you�re weird.

Bob: OK (looking at dancefloor). I was imagining that all the people on the dance floor, right, were giraffes and elephants. Dancing. Like humans are giraffes and elephants, right.

(Stunned silence as I try and absorb this)

Me: HAHAHAHAHA

(10 minutes later)

Me: HAHAHAHAHA

See. My new friends are cool.

On a random note, I�m starting to pick up the fantastically cool Geordie accent �

Me: I-ya, �ow yoo doin?

Friend: I-ya, iss goin� well thunks

Me: You want�a gu �oo the Yew-nyun now?

Friend: Aye, ow-kay I�ll be seeyin yew there then.

Who says I�m a sheep?

I'm drunk now because I've been heavily binge drinking. Wish me luck because really, I do need it (my liver's going to fail on me, I just know it).