My true self of course shines when I'm talking to her or her. And because they've been stuck with me for 4 years they can no longer pretend to fall asleep/dribble copiously/die when I'm talking to them, or else suffer the wrath, ho ho ho. (The wrath of Santy Claus? Perhaps.) Anyway, back to my wo/man repelling skills.

Of course in those rare moments (when I'm drunk, unconscious or pretending to be someone else) I am not only funny, witty, charming but attractive as well. Unfortunately these times are limited to a) when I have consumed dangerous amounts of alcohol b) am around my stranger-than-me friends and c) when I'm alone. I know, it doesn't quite have the same level of impact does it -, plus when the Mutti walks in and your laughing maniacally to yourself she tells you to shut up and have your Prozac.

Of course, I can't be completely human-repellent as I function fine in school, have a trough full of friends and have been hit on more than once by a) a 35 year old black man sporting a gold pimpdaddy chain and b) a psycho with a haircut as if released from the mental asylum. So I dorealise I have a very basic level of attractiveness not to be overlooked. But I think there's room for improvement/drastic change. Will brainstorm ideas and come back to you later.