la vie perd tout son charme sans toi

I hate death.

I'm getting to the age in my life where grandparents and other older family members are dying because they're old and the world is horrible. My grandma's sister died last Sunday and the family didn't tell us until today.

And it's sad, because this is the woman who - even though we were never that close - was inspirational on so many levels. In theory, she was supposed to have died about 5 years ago and thereafter ever 3 months or so as she kept catching that hospital 'SuperBug' that is antibiotic ressistant. She was what - about 90 - but with a brain as sharp as a knife and she was always so positive despite having a hard life. She had an abusive husband who (from what I could gather) beat her physically and mentally for about 50 years but she never complained. Her 45 year old daughter daughter died in a car accident just before Christmas, and her son-in-law is having a nervous breakdown.

And in the face of all of this and much more that I don't know, she kept smiling and laughing and being lovely. This is the 89 year old lady who told me to "not get tied down too early" and sample "as many men as you can before marrying one - after all, you don't want to get stuck with a dud!". And she regaled me with stories of how she had 2 young men on the go at the same time when she was younger, and how she used to sneak out at night and visit her 'suitors' as she called them. I mean, isn't that one cool woman? At a time when my parents want to put me into a chastity belt, there's this old granny telling the youth of today to basically experience life and live like it's your last day. And it sucks people like that have to die. People who live on not much, after everything life throws at you, who live on nothing but but good spirits and humour and a positive outlook.

It just makes me think about how mortal we are. That one day we all have to die, and that even being the best, most nicest person in the world won't stop that. Life is unfair. Abd you never know when you have to say goodbye.