Exes are always a difficult group to know how to deal with as, like fingerprints, no one is ever the same. Thus, what has worked for ex number 3 (blanking out and pretending we don't, and never did exist) will not work for soon-to-arrive ex. General strategies for dealing with exes can be extraordinarly unsuccessful and in this way, sometimes I think it's easier to hate each other and be on non-speaking-terms if only to make moving on that bit easier.

I can't remember where I read a passage that described the end of a relationship as a moving off a desert island, crossing the sea and reaching land. The sea is of course the sea of memories, the land being the future and the desert island the relationship. But through moving across this lonely seascape you're confronted with thousands of memories - and you can either head back to the desert island or plough ahead to land. But how many of us, when confronted with such a choice would choose to move forward across that lonely, vast, impenetrable sea of what ifs?.Isn't it easier to just turn back to what you know?

And therein lies the fundamental problem of any relationship. How can one sail the turbulent waters of MemorySea? Is it a complicated mixture of friends, self-belief and sheer willpower? Is it 'sugar spice and everything nice'? I'd like the answer. Now.

But in the meantime, I know I can always rely on my girls. I had a fabulous evening last night that involved unreasonable amounts of a) chocolate fruit fondue b) a chocolate cake with no flour in it - death by chocolate c) rum and coke. A mixture of the three that made E quite sick and me die laughing. Here's to secret handshakes, best friends and the future - and who knows? That may be the formula that I've been searching for.