What I hadn't know last night but wish I did: that many malibu's and cokes will come back and bite you in the ass. I've always thought that it's a myth that coke contains caffeine (does anyone actually ever feel a buzz after they drink a can of that baby juice?) but I realise that I've never drunk it in the vast quantities it takes for said, miniscule amounts of caffeine to overwhelm your system and make you insomniac-ish. Lying there, room spinning, heart pounding, various body parts twitching I couldn't help but think: shit, I wasn't even this drunk when I left the bar!

And there is the irony, that you are always more drunk that you think you are...invariably proved when you stand up and topple over.

Computers should be made off limits to drunk people. In a fit of what felt like compassion, caring and general happiness I fired off a few emails to a few people; now I'm going to have to emigrate and lay low for a while whilst the tidal wave of embarassment passes over. Drunken rambling is the best, no?