Anyway, it's guaranteed that during any massage there's going to be one part where you feel like a fat tub of lard. I was being moulded into a blissful pile of cellulite and goo. At certain times (and I hate to be distasteful here) I felt she was moving the fat around and possibly creating some kind of BodyFat Art to amuse herself. I imagine that she pushed the fat off my hips - it appears in bountiful quantities - and into the middle of my back whereupon she'd make a little "fatcastle" (not dissimilar to a "sandcastle") and she'd then take extra fat from the back of my arms and sculpt a little penis on my back, or perhaps an extra pair of boobs. Tell me I have an overactive imagination but I could actually feel my fat being moved around and this is what I believe she did.

Anyway, this story has a happy ending because as it turns out, I have neither a fatcastle, penis or pair of breasts sticking out of my back (hurrah!). I am also feeling chilled, mellow and I smell of soothing aromatherapy oils. Lovely indeed.