Expat Laura
To The Lighthouse
2004-01-21 | 9:33 p.m.

"...For she felt that he was still looking at her, but that his look had changed. He wanted something - wanted the thing she always found so difficult to give him; wanted her to tell him that she loved him. And that, no, she could not do. He found talking so much easier than she did. He could say things - she never could. So naturally it was always he that said the things, and then for some reason he would mind this suddenly and would reproach her. A heartless woman he called her; she never told him she loved him. But it was not so - it was not so. It was only that she never could say what she felt. Was there no crumb on his coat? Nothing she could do for him?

Getting up she stood at the window with the reddish brown stocking in her hands, partly to turn away from him, partly becayse she remembered how beautiful it often is - the sea at night. But she knew that he had turned his head as she turned; he was watching her. She knew what he was thinking. You are more beautiful than ever. And she herself felt very beautiful. Will you not tell me just for onc that you love me? He was thinking that, for he was roused, what with Minta and his book, and its being the end of the day and their having quarrelled about going to the Lightouse. But she could not do it; she could not say it.

Then, knowing he was watching her, instead of saying anything she turned, holding her stocking and looked at him. And as she looked at him she began to smile, for though she had not said a word, he know, of course he knew, that she loved him. He could not deny it. And smiling she looked out of the window (thinking to herself, Nothing on earth can equal this happiness) - and she looked at him smiling. For she had trimphed again. She had not said it: yet he knew..."

To The Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf

previous | next